Hollywood in Lindsay Lohan

The Week in Quotes: Lindsay Lohan Pole Dances, Katie Couric Bites Back and More

I have bruises all over. That’s why I haven’t worn shorts.”– Lindsay Lohan, on her recent pole-dancing lessons
“It’s more relaxing there. You can go to a coffee shop in your sweatpants and no one cares. Though everyone in my hometown thinks Hollywood is so small. They think I live next door to J.Lo and hang out with Leonardo DiCaprio.”– Maxim’s January cover girl, Lacey Chabert, on coming home to Mississippi
“You have to be unwavering in your convictions that you’re doing something good, because there are a lot of circling vultures that will eat you alive.”– CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric, telling Esquire that she feels some people are rooting for her to fail in her new job
“There’s a good chance that I’ll do something like that again … Not on purpose.”– Rosie O’Donnell, apologizing for offensive comments on The View that outraged the Asian-American community
“It’s the first time I’ve ever felt bad that somebody didn’t win. It was so evenly matched.”– Jeff Probst, on his feelings about the Survivor finale and winner Yul Kwon
“Have you folks seen the new Mel Gibson movie, Apolcalypto? Well, it’s apparently – the whole movie is in ancient Mayan, and I’m thinking to myself, ‘If I want to see a movie that’s incomprehensible in language, well, I’ll just go see Rocky Balboa.’ ”– David Letterman“I’ve only known her for, like, seven days, but I have a connection with her that’s like nothing else I’ve ever experienced.”– Aaron Carter, on his girlfriend, singer Kaci Brown
“I’m still nursing, and I think it gives you superhuman powers.”
– Gwen Stefani on her energy level since giving birth to her son Kingston in May
“I’m going to the show if I can waddle out of the house. I don’t know what kind of tent they are going to put me in. I’m thinking black or navy. It’s not going to be a high-fashion year for me. And I’m thinking barefoot. I deserve it.”– Pregnant Golden Globe nominee Marcia Cross, on her preparations for the ceremony
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Lindsay Lohan Hurts Her Firecrotch

One would think that Lindsay Lohan has enough experience with hard objects between her legs that she’d be impervious to pain there.
However, the actress with the most firey crotch in Hollywood recent injured her nether regions during a typical Saturday night training for an upcoming role.
In another e-mail somehow uncovered by Page Six, Lohan takes a break from threatening Lindsay Ratowski.
Instead, she tells friends that she’s practicing for her role as a stripper in her next film, I Know Who Killed Me, and that three hours of pole dancing rendered her a “walking black-and-blue mark.”
Fortuneately, the woman who apparently needs some lessons from Britney Spears, provides even more anatomical detail:
“We’re talkin’ like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised … I didn’t know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body.”
We know we talk about Lindsay Lohan’s crotch a lot. But now we’re just relaying words straight from the wanna-be stripper’s mouth.
Moreover - as proven by her choice of words to describe these ladies - Lohan also has newfound respect for the profession in her email: “Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the c***s now … I’m not going to lie to ya.”
Phew. At least Lindsay isn’t gonna lie. And at least her boobs appear to be okay.
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Lindsay Lohan Boob Update

Yep, she still is one!
But, seriously, folks. The Hollywood Gossip staff has been very concerned about Lindsay Lohan ever since she cut down on drinking. Would the partying promiscuous princess ever be the same?
Reports about the arch rival of Lindsay Ratowsky are unclear at the moment, but it looks to us like all the water Lohan is imbibing in lieu of alcohol is making at least one body part of hers awfully bloated.
Just look at that left breast.
It might spring a leak later in the evening if one of the six random dudes Lindsay takes home squeezes too hard. Tara Reid can at least offer some advice if that tragedy takes place.
After all, Dina Lohan will be passed out on the floor by then. And Ali Lohan will be fighting off the advances of older actors.
That’s just how the Lohan clan rolls.
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Lindsay Lohan Lays Off Booze for a Week, Works for a Living

Seven.
No, that’s not how many guys Lindsay Lohan slept with last night. It’s the number of days since our favorite, promiscuous alcoholic has had a drink.
“I’ve been going to AA, for a year by the way,” the actress said. But why didn’t she say so until recently? “Well it’s no one’s business. That’s why it’s anonymous!”
Right. Until it’s the right career move to announce it publicly. Hopefully, at least, Dina Lohan is listening.
“I haven’t had a drink in seven days. Or anything. I’m not even legal to, so why would I?” Lohan, 20, continued telling People magazine.
“I don’t drink when I go to clubs. I drink with my friends at home, but there’s no need to. I feel better not drinking. It’s more fun. I have Red Bull.”
We’ll ignore the astounding lack of sense in that quote - why would you drink when you’re underage? For the same reason someone would drink who’s not underage! - and instead focus on the fact that Lohan, therefore, was supposedly sober during this attempted crotch shot.
But would Lindsay encourage her younger sister, Ali Lohan, to stay away from the sauce? Did she suffer during her drinking binges?
“I didn’t feel bad before… I just wanted to, like, find a balance. I was out too much… I mean, I’m 20 years old. I was off from work, I was getting ready to start a film, and I was like going out just to get it out of my system. I was going out too much and I knew that, and I have more to live for than that.”
Like plotting revenge on Lindsay Ratowski.
Wait, though, did Lohan say she was off from work? Scratch that.
“I was like, I don’t want to be written about at these clubs with these people. I work, I act, I have a living. That’s what I do every day. I work every single day.”
Except for when she’s clubbing in between films. Or exhausted. But, every now and then, the Firecrotch queen does get down to business.
It’s the sort of work Jenna Jameson can relate to.
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It’s Lindsay Ratowsky: Latest Lindsay Lohan Rival Revealed



The mystery of “LR” turned out to be a lot less confusing than the mystery of what Paul McCartney ever saw in Heather Mills in the first place.
Yesterday, we reported on the bizarre email Lindsay Lohan sent out, as she asked for the help of Al Gore and the Clintons. Naturally.
She also singled out a certain “LR” for tattling on her to the tabloids. It’s now been revealed that the evil-doer in question was former assistant, Lindsay Ratowsky.
Ratowsky had the good sense nerve to ditch Lohan a few weeks ago and go to work for Jessica Biel. When she showed up to an event last week with Biel, Lohan went crazy. Or at least crazier than usual.
Meanwhile, in an unexpected turn of events, the camps of Gore, Bill and Hilary all deny ever offering Lindsay any help. Perhaps Ms. Firecrotch should turn to Scientology instead.
Calling TomKat!
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Bette Midler Speaks the Truth: Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are Sluts

Bette Midler is a bit before our time. But comments from the actress/singer make her right up our alley.
The outspoken, truth-telling diva has blasted Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan for their wild ways, calling them “sluts.”
The singer/actress admits she enjoyed wild times when she was younger, but she would never have left home without underwear and was appalled to see pictures, such as these Britney crotch shots, of the girls baring all in recent photographs.
“I’ve been on the other side to these wild and woolly sluts that we are seeing around our lives these days and I’ve taken the other side,” said Mider. “I started my life out as pretty wild, but I have decided, after much growing and living, that its time that we got nicer!”
And more useful, Ashlee Simpson.
Bette ended with a message to these dirty gals: “Get a life, get a grip. I mean someone should sit those ladies down.”
Apparently, Al Gore, Bill Clinton and Hilary Clinton are more than willing to.
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Lindsay Lohan: Hillary and Bill Clinton Can Help with … Something



Lindsay Lohan wants help.
For what? That’s unclear. From who? That may surprise you.
In a rambling email she sent to friends and lawyers, the freckled Firecrotch queen said: “Hilary [sic] Clinton, Bill Clinton … would be willing [to help], if we just ask. If we just ASK.”
Got that, people? You just need to ASK the former president and his wife if you need assistance with any of the following:
Drinking
Crotch shots
Driving
What’s more, Lohan claimed another Clinton-era crony wants to lend a hand:
“Al Gore will help me. He came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me.”
She also mentions one “LR” whom she intends to take to court for “what she’s done to me.” We can’t imagine who Lindsay is referring to - or what the heck she is talking about at any point here.
But we somehow doubt this mystery individual is Leah Remini or LeAnn Rimes. Don’t worry, though, we’re on the case!
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Lindsay Lohan: I Can Show Off My Crotch, Too!

Step back, Britney Spears, crotch shots are not just your speciality anymore.
The one with fire in her private area is dead set on proving that she can flash onlookers, as well. Granted, Lindsay Lohan has a long way to go, but can you blame a tramp for trying?

Meanwhile, look at the girl in the black dress behind Lindsay. She looks about as excited and interested in the attention-seeking streewalker in front of her as we are for a Tori Spelling memoir.
We can only imagine what the reaction of Al Gore would’ve been.
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